Motherhood scared the heck out of me.
Imagine my surprise when I slid into motherhood like a second skin. I’m doing ok. A lot of it, I believe, has to do with the fact that I’m just myself and I have a wonderful husband. We’re a great team together and approach parenthood in a very laid back kind of way. Here are some of the things I want to remember the next time around about motherhood:
-Calm down. Sometimes spit up is spit up, get the image of the girl from The Exorcist out of your mind. Follow J’s cool and collected lead when you begin to freak out.
-Be kind to all parents. I’m doing this now and I hope I always remember to be kind to parents. Motherhood/parenthood might come easy to some, but to others it’s a tough transition of losing oneself, finding a new personal dimension and sustaining a brand new life. That’s a big task to tackle.
-Make the choices that make you happy because a happy parent is a happy baby. If you need to get a mani/pedi to feel good about yourself, then go get one. It’s not frivolous and silly. It boosts your self-esteem and gives you time to yourself. Don’t worry if you take a 2 hour shower just to have responsibility-free time. It makes you a better mom when you finally exit the bathroom.
-Fuck everyone else. You’re the parent and what you say goes. No explanations required. Everyone should assume you’re making the best choice for your child, if they second guess it don’t sweat it. Smile and nod and do your thing anyways.
-Don’t be afraid to ask to be alone with your family (i.e. D, J and the new baby…not the extended family!). You’re hormonal, bloated, leaking, bleeding- a walking zombie…it’s ok to kick everyone else out. They’ll get over it. And in the end it will make you a better parent.
-Stop and observe- A LOT! Time flies just like everyone says it will. Soak up as much as possible.
-Don’t forget your hubby! He needs some TLC. Hug him, kiss him, tell him you love him. Appreciate all that he does. He kicks ass as a daddy.
-Don’t be stubborn. Sleep!
-Take inspiration from the moms that inspire you. This may sound cheesy, but it’s true, surround yourself with moms that mirror the kind of mom you wish yourself to be. Now, I don’t necessarily go out and BFF them but read blogs of moms that inspire you, read books on moms with good stories to tell, talk to moms in your life that make you smile. It’s encouraging and helps to stay focused on the important things in life.
That’s all I could think of for now.