Oh my, a giant sigh of relief…a cry of joy…a proud mother f-ing smile…these are the emotions I’m going through. I’ve never believed in being overly confident, so despite the fact that I believed in my heart Obama would win this election my head told me not to assume anything. Even earlier this eveing when results started pouring in, I ignored it all as best I could knowing that exit poll information isn’t always accurate. Instead, J and I settled for watching Steve Carrell and Anne Hatheway. Once the film was over we got to turn to the election coverage and find a pleasant surprise – Barack Obama is the president elect!
It feels so odd to be celebrating such a momentous and incredible occassion just the two of us in our little condo, Dessa sleeping quietly in the other room. A milestone in history like this needs a party, needs champagne, needs a Grant-Park-proportions turnout event. But not for us. As McCain closed up his speech, Dessa cried out in her sleep and I went in to nurse her. I lied their stroking her hair and realized in that moment how different her world is going be from mine – from anything before her. She will have a life that will have known an African American president. I started crying because the weight of the reality of what it all means really struck me then. I feel immense pride in my fellow Americans knowing we have stood together to elect a president that represents the people, that stands for what’s in our hearts, who supports our values, who wants to unite us, who wants change. I am shaken to the core by the possibility this opens up for Dessa’s lifetime. If this has already manifested itself in her short lifetime, then surely the sky is the limit for the rest of her very long life. I mean, all parents tell their kids anything is possible but with all the details of this election and now the outcome – anything seems so much more within reach. I am filled with energy, hope for what the future brings. I think everyone is and we’re going to be in for amazing and new times.
I need to say, though, that I am also filled with some fear. I am not a praying woman, though I wish on stars and put out ideas and desires and blessings out into the world so to some I may pray a lot. But in recent years, I can recall exactly how many times I’ve prayed. First, when Dessa was born and a handful of times since when I cannot fathom the miracle that she is. I thank my lucky stars. Then when our cousin and his beautiful girlfriend had to deliver their stilborn son at 8 months. I prayed to God that time for strength for them and the capacity to accept that tragedy. I have also wished on stars to bless one person or another in my life. Finally, I prayed tonight for our new president. I won’t lie, I felt kind of like a little old lady – aren’t they the only ones who pray for people they don’t know, for the famous, for the president of the USA? I prayed for strength for him and his family. I prayed even more for protection for him and his family from the hate they will have to endure.
I wish I could say that everyone will welcome this new era with open arms but we all know that there are still ignorant people out there who will not take this well. I just pray that this joyous moment is not ever cut short or taken from the American people. I hate to be so glum but the thoughts cross my mind and I wish upon him great protection and success.
Oy vey…what has become of me? Oh got to go…The president is about to speak!!!!!!!!!!!!!