I always knew I wanted children but I was never clear what my journey there would be like. In my teens and early twenties, I believed I’d live a fun and exciting life and hit 30 single and alone. I had settled in my mind to make 30 my breaking point and if there was no man in my life, I’d wrangle a good guy friend into bed or adopt my own little baby. I was naive and a. was terribly mistaken to think 30 was “late in life” and b. had completely over-glamorized single motherhood (coupled parenthood isn’t that glamorous, fun and wonderful but certainly there’s no glamour involved).
I got lucky to meet Jeremy in college and fall in love with a man who had as strong a desire as I did to have children. We knew the second we were hitched it was baby making time for us and our daughter was born just in time to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. When I was pregnant, I freaked about the possibility of having a boy. I knew that boy or girl we’d be happy and excited but I was nervous because I’m a girl’s girl and know zilch about raising boys. I even confided in my hubby to dreading that I might turn a little boy gay (I know we’re born how we’re born but I was convinced my girlish ways could make a kid pull a switcheroo…just leave it to pregnancy hormones diluting my intelligence).
I discovered during my pregnancy that my husband was not a macho type guy who was determined to get a mini-me. He was overjoyed that we were having a daughter and admitted he was hoping it would be a girl.
Reading this post from a fellow Cubana made me realize how lucky I am to witness my husband and daughter together. I don’t know what it’s like to watch a man with his son but a man and his daughter is just something words cannot describe. As a father to a little girl, I am seeing traits in my husband I had not known before. We’re pregnant now with daughter number two and he couldn’t be happier. Sure he’s the outdoorsy, camping type who loves to play with cars and rough house with his brother and explain scientific things that bore me to pieces but he could care less if we ever have a boy.
I’m not ruling out a go for number 3 or suggesting a boy would ever disappoint us but I’m just beaming over what a wonderful experience it is to be a woman and watch my husband be an incredible father to our daughter. He is for her all the things my abuelo, the male figure in my life, is to me – strong yet gentle, funny, full of knowledge, loving, adventurous, devoted. Me and my daughters are a lucky, lucky bunch to have gotten Jeremy all to ourselves. Lucky indeed.
Thanks, Carrie, for reminding me to be so grateful.