I’m 31 weeks now and nearing my time to leave work. While I should be really excited to have the entire summer off with my girls, lately I’ve been a little down and out about it. See I’m one of those moms who LOVES maternity leave. I’m in no rush to get back to the office or grown up interaction or routine. I love more than anything spending time with my babies.
The reason I get to upset over my maternity leave is because it has to come to an end. During my maternity leave with Dessa, I discovered the mother in me. Thanks to 3 months off from work I was able to really pay attention to and learn how to respond to her needs. I discovered a patience I didn’t know I was capable of. I gained an amazing amount of confidence in my skills as a mom.
Going back to work when Dessa was just 3 months old was no easy task but as is my nature I sucked it up and did what had to be done. Not a second still goes by now that I don’t wish I were home. However, now that I’ll be home with two little ones and eventually have to leave them to return to work, I’m dreading the whole maternity leave/work situation more than anything.
I think it’s such a cruel joke to play on a new mother – here take some time off, have a little taste of how great life could be if you could focus on your family, enjoy a bit of disillusionment of what parenting is really like. Then – WHAM – go back to work and try to figure it all out again from scratch with eight less hours in your day to focus on your family.
I have been marveling lately at how mothers do it who have more than one child and are able to work full time outside the home. I know it’s totally feasible but I don’t know if my heart will be in it after two. And by that I mean if my heart will be able to go through the everyday motions to get back to work knowing my two babies are home without me.
Don’t get me wrong. I am fortunate to have a great job that allows my family the flexibility to eliminate the need for childcare. And I am completely aware of the the hardships many are going through during these tough economic times so just bear with my whining. At the end of the day my issue is I still think my place is with my family. I know I’m getting ahead of myself and should probably worry about these things after I actually have a baby but it’s been weighing heavy on my mind.
If you have more than one little one at home and you work outside of the home, I’d love to know how you do it. It’s just so tough for me to wrap my brain around it. And heck, even if you work at home I know it must be challenging so I guess I’m asking for any kind of insight from a working mom with two or more babes in her life.