I’ll spare you the sorry-I’ve-been-gone-so-long intro paragraph and just let you know I haven’t here because I’ve been here – as in IRL. We celebrated with family as twin baby girl cousins were born into our little clan. I’ve been chasing a chubby baby around our condo; cruising at 8 months, surely walking by 9 (the dread!). I’ve been trying to tap into my inner zen and stay calm, patient and positive with a strong willed, independent toddler. We’ve been spreading some smiles to great-grandma who isn’t doing so great (well, she’s better but far from before she was ill). I’ve been working hard at what some might consider hardly working; don’t be fooled, it takes more energy than you can imagine. I’ve been cheerleading for my hubby who is chasing his dreams. I’ve been discovering new folks online who are inspiring, invigorating and getting my ass in gear. I’ve been hovering in almost-there-mode with big ideas and trying to figure out how I can do it all in one lifetime. Where I’ve been, where I’m at.
This space of mine has been neglected and I can feel it. Who would ever think I’d say that? That I would feel not being active online, not blogging regularly. I’m still on Latina and Bellani on the regular but my heart is here and I’ve been absent. My heart can tell. I’m refocusing this space. I lost sight for awhile there on why I was blogging. I started this here blog when my toddler was nearly 6 months as a way to get a hold of myself, to capture the thoughts running through my mind that couldn’t be shared or said or completely thought out while mothering. It felt good; it nurtured me.
And that is what it’s going back to. My dear diary space.
Life is so, so full and good right now. Grateful.
Yesterday was my birthday, a whopping 29 years. I’m making this last year of my 20s rock – hard.
Projects, projects, projects. Why can’t I ever seem to focus on one thing? I’ve stopped fighting the urge to stick to one perfect thing. Try often, fail, try again, find it.
Motherhood is such a fascinating journey. I can see so much evolution in myself in the last 2.5 years. Discovery, losing myself, carving out new bits of me, holding on fiercely to other bits of me, seeing a familiar face and smiling. The best is yet to come.
So much, so much, my sweet little blog. Missed you. Glad to be back, if you’ll have me =)
Image via Tony the Misfit.