How The Mommy Wars Was Won

21 Flares 21 Flares ×

Welcome to the beginning of the end.

How The Mommy Wars Was Won: Ending The War That Never Was

or, better yet,

Honest Stories About The Decisions Mothers Make

The media likes to use the term “mommy wars” to pit mothers against each other. This supposed battle has moms trying to one up each other for who’s doing the best job. The curious thing is I’ve never met moms in real life who are throwing down for any kind of title. We may compete with ourselves but never have I seen a mom down in the mud wrangling another mom crying out, “The title will be mine!”.

Do you know why I’ve never experienced this in real life? Because the mommy wars do not exist. Because, once you become a mother, you gain a holy respect for mothers everywhere. You know you’ve got it equal parts tough and easy given the moment just like every other mother.

The media likes to tell us how we should talk about the decisions moms are making instead of listening to what they’re saying and observing, respectfully, what moms are doing. The real threat to motherhood isn’t other mothers. It’s the media who distorts this sisterhood into a nasty cat fight. I want women to be able to make their own choices within the context that all options and decisions are valuable and worth consideration.

So how do we create a positive conversation about motherhood? Easy. We start talking.

Enter: How The Mommy Wars Was Won, a weekly series by a fellow mom sharing with readers her experience navigating a specific aspect of motherhood.

I’m inviting you to contribute your story. I believe there’s something to be said for sharing our experiences as mothers, whether it’s how we deal with tantrums to how we get our kids to eat anything green to breastfeeding.

In sharing our stories, we find people like and unlike ourselves. We find camaraderie as well as new perspectives. We learn and grow.

The Goal: Create a positive conversation about the decisions moms make about parenting and raising their children. I want to be able to show the diversity of choices women are making and also inspire other moms to think outside the box when making their own decisions.

Contributor Guidelines

If you’re interested in contributing, then send a completed post in the body of an email to with “mommy wars” in the subject line. First, select your topic from the topics below:

  • Working: Work outside the home, stay at home, work from home – what did you do after baby?
  • Feeding: Breast, bottle or a combo – what worked for you?
  • Sleeping: Crib, bassinet, family bed, swing, car seat – how does baby sleep?
  • Giving Birth: Vaginal, c-section, water, epidural, induced – what was your baby’s grand entrance like?
  • Discipline:  Time out, behavior charts, positive parentinghow do you approach your child’s blossoming spirit?

Why these topics? Because these are the topics most widely discussed in popular media when talking about motherhood and the “mommy wars”. They are the topics suggested to most deeply divide mothers but I think these are some of the issues defining our journey as moms and also uniting us.

What should be included? 

  1. Each post should be a story about how you made your decision to parent in a specific way in regards to the subject you’ve chosen above. What’s most valuable and usually missing from the mass media discussions is the factors tipping the scales, the logical ones and the heartfelt ones. Consider sharing how the following factors contributed to your decision: your partner’s opinion, your own upbringing, your financial situation, your instincts. These are mentioned as guidance. You’re welcome to tell your story in the most honest way you know how.
  2. At the end of your post, list 3 lessons you’ve learned from your experience. You can do more, you can do less. The idea is to leave readers with something they might be able to put into action.
  3. Finally, include a short bio telling a little bit about yourself. If you have your own blog or business, feel free to include a link. A mug shot would be lovely as well.

I’m putting a call out for contributors and also reaching out to moms I admire to learn their stories. While I work on pulling it all together, tell me in the comments below of any mothers you admire whose story you’d be interested in knowing. I’ll try my darnedest to hunt them down and get their stories here for you.

21 Flares Twitter 0 Facebook 21 Pin It Share 0 21 Flares ×


  1. ooooh I will totally do this. Hopefully I can write it up in the next few days and I will e-mail it to you. Suffering from my own mommy wars and struggles with a sick kid home this week. So need this. email me if you need it sooner but I can have it for you by the weekend for sure.
    Michele C.´s last blog post ..Photo a Day April 2012 ~ Day 20

  2. Great idea… I completely agree. In real life there are no “Mommy Wars”. Even online, I find most women want to support each other and share their stories to help each other.

    Good for you for starting this initiative.

Leave a Reply to Veronica of Muy Bueno Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge