Mothering

On Your Third Birthday

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Preciosa,

Three years ago today you roared out of me and into this world. Before you arrived I was so consumed with worry about how to love you. How to do it all again without breaking your sister’s heart. I didn’t know how more love could reside in my heart. And then, blazing bright you burst onto the scene and my heart grew and you made a home for yourself.

You thundered out of me fast and furious demanding notice. I knew at first glance you weren’t a soul I’d known before.You, all blonde hair and sunshine eyes, you, my dear, are a mystery unfolding in every second. A beautiful, joyful mystery I’m marinating in.

Somehow time seems to have sped up since I had you. It’s like a mean trick the time keeper has played – fill my life with more love but seemingly less time. It’s tricky that clock. You, though, are so full of life and so vibrant it’s impossible not to soak you up. And today, while we made the road trip back from New Jersey, I couldn’t quite wrap my head around three. Three whole damn years. I put you to bed, exhausted, and my heart was in my throat and tears welled. Another birthday.

These tears, they are happy and sad and holding on and looking ahead. As you turn three, I want you to know how much you’ve taught me.

You are joy. Your smile is soaring. Your laugh is pure and deep. You sink your teeth into every day with abandon. You know no other way. It’s infectious and for this I’m eternally grateful.

You give without taking. It comes naturally and you never blink when someone asks something of you. You’d give the shirt off your back, sweet girl. It’s humbling.

You define the art of impersonation. From animals to friends to family to movie characters to made up friends – you commit to every part. A day, an hour, a minute spent with you is an exuberant reminder to play more. Fun is never lost on you.

You forgive and forget without hesitation. This one astounds me. This Aquarius, takes notes everyday.

I love you, baby girl. I love your shimmy shake dance. I love you belting out Rumor Has It. I love you quoting Ramona and Beezus, “RRRrrremember me, Ramona?” I love your obsession with The Muppets. I love your fearless playground attitude. I love your love for your sister. I love how you ask for her when she’s not around. I love the way you say “excuse me” when you want someone’s attention. I love the way you play with little babies, tickling their cheeks. I love your still chubby hands when they cup my face. I love how you shower me with kisses. I love when you go camera happy around the house. I love how you go up to strangers to ask, “Excuse me. Can I pet your dog?” when you used to be the baby who was terrified of dogs. I love your mean, grumpy face. I love you love for blue and orange. I love to hear you order your food at a restaurant and confuse the waitstaff by customizing your order. I love you, my little free spirit.

I love you, mi amor. I hold these lessons close and learn everyday from you. May you always own so proudly who you are.

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One comment

  1. Hi Carla – my first time visiting your blog. Just felt lead to come visit after seeing a comment you made on a Marie Forleo vid.
    I was instantly entranced by your love for words and the whimsical and masterful way in which you craft them. I am also in love with the way you love your little ones.
    Mine, alas and alleluia (not their names, just exclamations) have flown the nest and I am left with not but time to visit blogs.
    I would love to keep in touch. Lookin’ for a posse.
    Hugs goodbye,
    Kathy

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